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07/15/2004: "Who moved my cheese font?"
In the Alice-in-Wonderland world that is the Church of England, you can deny the reality of the resurrection of Christ, you can repudiate the divine inspiration of Holy Scripture, you can refuse to subscribe to the unique role of Christ in salvation, but don't you dare move the furniture!
The Chancellor of the Diocese of Lichfield was this week considering his judgement in a case of an over-eager clergyman versus Canon Law specifications for font placements.
The rare case was brought before ecclesiastical court after the Rector of Trentham, the Rev Nigel di Castiglione, and two churchwardens landed in the hot water for moving the font without the necessary consent, according to the Lichfield Diocesan spokesman.
Local residents and the conservation officer of Stafford Borough Council launched a complaint after the unauthorised relocation of the font and the introduction of new carpeting over the church’s "rare" tiling last year.
Mr di Castiglione has apologised for breaching church planning laws, but maintains that the new position gives the font a "closer focus with the other foci–the Holy Table and pulpit."
In his testimony, Mr di Castiglione said the font’s former position posed practical difficulties during baptisms as "all witnesses...would have to turn around to see; and those in the gallery couldn't see unless they crane their heads over the gallery rail."
Architect David Slade said the Canon Law requirement for fonts to be located near the principle door into the church "had not been observed for many years."
The Rt Rev Christopher Hill, recently named as the next Bishop of Guildford, also contributed to the sensitive courtroom proceedings by giving evidence about the "theological arguments about the position of fonts."
Thank goodness the C of E has its priorities straight. We wouldn't want their bishops wasting their theological faculties on anything trivial.
(Thanks to MCJ for the link.)


