03/23/2004: "Doubletalk from the Frozen North"

Apparently the Canadian Anglican Church is determined to catch up to the chaos in the ECUSA. The Council of General Synod (bishops and other high mucky-mucks) has voted to put the following resolution before the upcoming General Synod:

Blessing of Same-Sex Unions

Be it resolved that this General Synod:

1) Affirm that, even in the face of deeply held convictions about whether the blessing of committed same-sex unions is contrary to the doctrine and teaching of the Anglican Church of Canada, we recognize that through our baptism we are members one of another in Christ Jesus, and we commit ourselves to strive for that communion into which Christ continually calls us.

2) Affirm the authority and jurisdiction of any diocesan synod, with the concurrence of its bishop, to authorize the blessing of committed same sex unions;

3) Affirm the crucial value of continued respectful dialogue and study of biblical, theological, liturgical, pastoral and social aspects of human sexuality; and call upon all bishops, clergy and lay leaders to be instrumental in seeing that dialogue and study continue;

4) Affirm the principle of respect for the way in which the dialogue and study may be taking place, or might take place, in indigenous and various other communities within our church in a manner consistent with their cultures and traditions; and

5) Affirm that the Anglican Church is a church for all the baptized and is committed to taking such actions as are necessary to maintain and serve our fellowship and unity in Christ, including provision of adequate episcopal oversight and pastoral care for all, regardless of the perspective from which they view the blessing of committed same sex relationships.

After several hours of hard work, the official English translation from the Church Bureaucratese has been prepared. It reads as follows:

"BE IT RESOLVED THAT: We know that there are lots of Anglicans who think blessing same-sex unions is unbiblical, immoral, and contrary to tradition. We want them to continue to pay the bills, so we're going to talk them to death, and make them think we're listening to them.

"BE IT RESOLVED THAT: We actually have no intention of listening to them. So while we say the 'dialogue' is continuing, we're going to go ahead and do what we want.

"BE IT RESOLVED THAT: We're going to authorize same-sex union blessings, and then tell the yahoos that we have no choice, since General Synod authorized it.

"BE IT RESOLVED THAT: We'll keep 'dialoguing,' so the children won't get too upset and stop giving their money to us. We will call this 'adequate episcopal oversight' so the primitives will think we care about their opinions, which won't matter once we've changed the rules."

This is Canadian English, of course, so it's less edgy and more respectful of the great unwashed than American Episcopal English. But it still gets the message across, don't you think?

(Thanks to CaNN for the resolution text.)